“… We become what we consume. What you read today becomes
the raw material of your thoughts tomorrow. High-quality
inputs offer high-quality raw materials to assemble in the
future. A person with rich sources of information makes better
choices than someone consuming low-quality information…”

-The Passions, Tiny Thought

 

“As I came down from the mountain, I recalled how, not many years ago, it was access to information and movement that seemed our greatest luxury; nowadays it’s often freedom from information, the chance to sit still, that feels like the ultimate prize. Stillness is not just an indulgence for those with enough resources—it’s a necessity for anyone who wishes to gather less visible resources.”

— Pico Iyer in The Art of Stillness

“A learned man once went to a Zen master to inquire about Zen. As the Zen master talked, the learned man would frequently interrupt him with remarks like, “Oh yes, we have too,” and so forth. Finally the Zen master stopped talking and began to serve tea to the learned man; however, he kept on pouring and the tea cup overflowed. “Enough, no more can go into the cup!” the learned man interrupted. “Indeed I see,” answered the Zen master. “But if you do not first empty your cup, then how can you taste my cup of tea?”

-Bruce Lee

It’s sooooo easy for me to say yes. I don’t even PAUSE to think about it. Even when I know I don’t have the time or energy, be it mentally or physically. My answer is always yes. Do you mind doing this or that? Can you? The list of requests is endless. In the end, I am frustrated, irritable and just tired. When I came across these 5 questions, I knew I had to share them. They’re too good not to!

I’ve added one additional step before asking yourself these questions. That is to PAUSE first. For me a PAUSE is simply silencing my mind and being still. I PAUSE as long as I feel is necessary. I PAUSE to ground myself, reset, refocus and to gather my thoughts. We move about our days a majority of the time on autopilot. How often do you PAUSE? Adding a PAUSE before asking yourself these questions just makes sense. Without a PAUSE you may not even ask yourself the questions.

Listen, there will be times when asking yourself these questions isn’t an option because action needs to be taken. That’s okay. There will also be times when you just forget. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself. PAUSING before committing to doing something takes practice and so does asking yourself these questions. Maybe the first time around you simply PAUSE and then the second time you PAUSE and ask yourself one question. Know that as you continue, to PAUSE and ask yourself these questions before responding, it does get easier.

 

Will this bring me JOY?

This question seems straightforward, right? Even dare I say obvious, but is it, though? When there is an ask, my innate thought isn’t, will this bring me joy? Nope, it’s YES! Because it will bring the one asking joy.

Does my soul align with this?

I feel the same about this question as the previous one. This isn’t something I think about. Even with my soul screaming, “JUST SAY NO!”

Can I be of service in this situation?

This is definitely something I consider. The issue I run into is I can always be of service. That’s the problem! Realistically, if I am not fully present and showing up, then I’m doing a disservice.

Does this help me financially? 

This is a GREAT question. It makes me acknowledge and own my worth. It also forces me to take my own financial situation into consideration. Do I need these funds? Really? If so, would this actually be beneficial financially? I know discussing money isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. This question also makes me consider if there is an ask, but no compensation mentioned. Listen, if the ask is coming from someone who values me, compensation isn’t a question. How much you want to be compensated will be. If I know my worth, then I also know how much I should be compensated.

Will I learn something new?

Yes, please and thank you! I am a lover of learning.

If I answer YES to 3 out of the 5, it’s a YES! 4 or 5 out of the 5, is a resounding YES! That is unless I just want to say NO.

“The irony is that this ‘fake it till you make it’ tactic is the exact opposite of how truly successful people live. They live with authentic vulnerability because they know that the world always connects more with your grit than your shine. They might show up for the shine, but they will stay because of your grit.”

-Joshua Medcalf