Category: Uncategorized
Isn’t it ironic
Recently I signed up for several SELF newsletters. I am always on the lookout for new articles to share with all of you. SELF checked many boxes when it came to what I enjoy reading and sharing. When I came across the above article I had to read and post it! But when I noticed the advertisement below I was shocked! The article mentions the Kardashians at great lengths and how they, “played a major role in normalizing and popularizing Blackfishing: the cultural appropriation when people alter their appearance with makeup, cosmetic surgery, filters, and digital editing to appear Black.” And how, “With this change in culture, the Black woman goes back to being objectified, hypersexualized, and having to deal with a disdain for their bodies that they have faced for centuries.” This article is EXCELLENT! I mean a must read. The issue I have is the SKIMS advertisement immediately below the article. WHY?! SERIOUSLY?! For me it counters the entire premise of the article and begs to question SELF’s motives.
“The Kardashians are the most notable example of the aforementioned phenomenon, having been known for their curvy frames and aesthetics pulled straight from Black culture, only to exchange them for smaller and whiter models when it’s convenient or lucrative.”
Yvette Sojourner
President
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
-Nelson Mandela
“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
-Barbara De Angelis
“If you want to fly, you have to give up the shit that weights you down.”
-Toni Morrison
It’s sooooo easy for me to say yes. I don’t even PAUSE to think about it. Even when I know I don’t have the time or energy, be it mentally or physically. My answer is always yes. Do you mind doing this or that? Can you? The list of requests is endless. In the end, I am frustrated, irritable and just tired. When I came across these 5 questions, I knew I had to share them. They’re too good not to!
I’ve added one additional step before asking yourself these questions. That is to PAUSE first. For me a PAUSE is simply silencing my mind and being still. I PAUSE as long as I feel is necessary. I PAUSE to ground myself, reset, refocus and to gather my thoughts. We move about our days a majority of the time on autopilot. How often do you PAUSE? Adding a PAUSE before asking yourself these questions just makes sense. Without a PAUSE you may not even ask yourself the questions.
Listen, there will be times when asking yourself these questions isn’t an option because action needs to be taken. That’s okay. There will also be times when you just forget. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself. PAUSING before committing to doing something takes practice and so does asking yourself these questions. Maybe the first time around you simply PAUSE and then the second time you PAUSE and ask yourself one question. Know that as you continue, to PAUSE and ask yourself these questions before responding, it does get easier.
Will this bring me JOY?
This question seems straightforward, right? Even dare I say obvious, but is it, though? When there is an ask, my innate thought isn’t, will this bring me joy? Nope, it’s YES! Because it will bring the one asking joy.
Does my soul align with this?
I feel the same about this question as the previous one. This isn’t something I think about. Even with my soul screaming, “JUST SAY NO!”
Can I be of service in this situation?
This is definitely something I consider. The issue I run into is I can always be of service. That’s the problem! Realistically, if I am not fully present and showing up, then I’m doing a disservice.
Does this help me financially?
This is a GREAT question. It makes me acknowledge and own my worth. It also forces me to take my own financial situation into consideration. Do I need these funds? Really? If so, would this actually be beneficial financially? I know discussing money isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. This question also makes me consider if there is an ask, but no compensation mentioned. Listen, if the ask is coming from someone who values me, compensation isn’t a question. How much you want to be compensated will be. If I know my worth, then I also know how much I should be compensated.
Will I learn something new?
Yes, please and thank you! I am a lover of learning.
If I answer YES to 3 out of the 5, it’s a YES! 4 or 5 out of the 5, is a resounding YES! That is unless I just want to say NO.